It’s strange how life tends to remind you of things you were recently thinking about. In my case, it is once again reminding me how much we are all subject to chance, randomness, and being blindsided by things we don’t expect.
This week we had family members visiting from out of state. The second evening after they arrived, one of our visitors didn’t look well. The following morning they looked even less well and we pushed them to go to urgent care. Once at urgent care, the doctors said that they needed to go to the ER immediately. Now, after three more days, they have been admitted to the local hospital awaiting a complex surgical procedure to remove a potentially cancerous mass in near one of their internal organs. What was supposed to be a three day visit is going to turn into at least a three week ordeal that could upend our family.
It is crazy how without any real warning things can drastically change in a matter of hours. In these situations we are reminded of how little control we sometimes have over what happens to us. All you can do is try and make the best decisions possible during the subsequent hours, days, and weeks to influence the outcome in a positive direction. I believe we have done this and now all we can do is wait and see while offering as much support to the family member impacted as possible. Let’s hope for a brighter tomorrow.
Experiencing people leaving an organization that are part of your peer group is never fun. This is especially true when you recognize that the person leaving created a sense of balance on the team that was much needed. Once they are gone, that balance will be thrown off again, decisions the person made will be called into question, and there will be a lot of anxiety on the part of their team.
Sadly, this is the situation that me and our organization find ourselves in now. With a new CEO on-board within the last six months, this is completely unknown territory that we are entering. None of us have any idea how the hiring process is going to go to replace this person. We don’t know if leadership will care about finding someone that integrates well with the rest of the team or if they will intentionally look to bring in a more disruptive force to shake things up. the organization has been through significant change over the past year, much of it positive, yet it is still anxiety inducing.
Now we wait to see what comes next. Time will tell if this change will be positive or if the organization is going to suffer because of it.
Rationally I know that life is inherently governed by chance to a significant degree. Yet it seems there are some people, groups of people, families, etc. that are disproportionately affected by negative experiences and outcomes than others. Many turn to religion as a way to try and explain the unexplainable, yet I have never been someone to do that. At least not to the degree where I think there is a god that is directly controlling the outcomes of every event for every individual on earth or elsewhere. That doesn’t mean I still don’t wonder why some people seem to have a significant number of negative life experiences than others.
This morning I was reminded of this type of situation when I learned a person I grew up with had passed away unexpectedly. This is not the first time someone in this family that I grew up near has passed away unexpectedly. The previous situation was even more tragic and heartbreaking. Then add to these more recent situations that the parents of these people had gone through a nasty divorce due to infidelity, that they had things like fires happen in their home during the time I lived near them, etc. and it seems like the odds were always stacked against them.
That begs the question, how did they end up on these paths versus others that did not? There is an argument to be made that they were the logical result of the sum of many prior less significant, but not always positive, decisions made in the past. As the saying goes, their prior decisions and choices just caught up to them. These outcomes still seem to be particularly harsh even factoring in prior minor poor decisions. So my mind still comes back to the question – why them and not others? I have no good answer, I don’t think there is a good answer. As a logical being it is hard to accept that there isn’t a good answer to the question “why?” though. I can’t blame any one person, event, or situation that is obviously the cause of why these things have happened to these people.
I will accept this and move on as I have done in the past. The next time anything like this happens though, I will be right back where I am now wondering why I don’t have any good explanation for what just happened. At least not a satisfactory one.
Sometimes I wonder how organizations can function and survive. If you are hiring for important roles, maybe you should put some thought into coordinating the process effectively when using multiple recruiting agencies.
When you have multiple agencies contact you about the same role, at the same company, but with entirely different messages it destroys any trust the candidate has in the process. It is even better when one agency tells you how confidential the search is and won’t even disclose the name of their client without an NDA, yet another will happily divulge the name of the client without an NDA. The cherry on top is when the organization looking to hire should absolutely know how to go about hiring for a role of this caliber without making these basic mistakes.
All of this adds up to making any prospective candidate want to run away from the process as fast as possible. After all, if an organization can’t manage to coordinate the hiring process, how can they possibly be any less dysfunctional internally? Seriously, do better. Otherwise assume you will never find someone other than a person that is too dense to see past the red flags presented during the hiring process. That isn’t a recipe for long-term success.
Resilience. One word that can determine whether you survive or not. One word that can determine whether you pick up and keep going or gradually fade into the background, no longer relevant to the word around you.
I was reminded about what it means to be resilient recently when I was not selected for a job role, despite being one of the two finalists. I gave it my all, I had great conversations with my interviewers, and I felt good coming out of the final round of interviews. Then I started to notice the signs. Follow up wasn’t as forthcoming as I expected it to be despite how enthusiastic the organization was about me. I was told to expect feedback as of a certain date, it didn’t come. Then I was going to receive it by a slightly later date. It came. I was a strong candidate, the decision was hard, but I wasn’t selected. Someone that was closer to where the organization is headquartered was. Someone that wouldn’t require relocation. I lost the opportunity because my situation was harder to deal with logistically for this organization that what the other candidate’s situation was.
The anger set in, as did the frustration, the disappointment, and the questions about what I could have done differently. Rather than getting the chance to make a positive impact within an organization, I was shown the exit. I had little explanation as to why and a lingering feeling that I wasn’t selected because someone didn’t want to deal with the logistics involved with me taking the role.
The response to this kind of situation could becoming a defining moment in my professional and personal life. Either I choose to double down in my current role and excel where I am or I disengage, become bitter, and resent that I wasn’t going to be where I wanted to. I made a conscious decision to choose the former. I chose resilience. No organization is perfect; the organization I work in today is far from perfect. Yet if I choose to be resilient, I choose to engage more and choose to find opportunity in times of setback when I know I can make the organization better.
I refuse to let the decision made by someone else define my outlook, my attitude, or whether or I am happy or not. I choose to be resilient. I chose to move forward.
